I LOVEE travelling, you guys know that already from this post, but the day before going somewhere (and the day itself) I’m plagued with anxiety. Annoying, panicky anxiety that kinda stems from nowhere. Here’s some of the key things that my mind chooses to agonise over:
- “What if we miss the train?”
- “What if something bad happens while we’re on the train?”
- “What if my pain flares up while travelling?” (this worry is the only one that has some evidence behind it, and the one I agonise over the most. to be honest all my worries that are pain related are the ones that stress me out the most.)
- “What if we get there and something bad happens?”
- “What if the people we’re staying with don’t want us there anymore?” (this one is the silliest – they invited us! But still, I’m worrying about it.)
- “What if I don’t feel comfortable in their home?” (i’ve stayed there before, it’s just been a few years. I’m usually okay there, but I would have much preferred to stay in a hotel or something. I value my own space SO much, I’m worried a whole week being around people I’m not usually around for that long would make me anxious and uncomfortable 😦 )
- “What if my pain flares up?” (overall, during the week we’re there, I’m so scared my pain will kick off when we are out or when we have plans. I can’t just do what I do at home, alert my mum and we change up the plan. I’ll have to shut up and suffer, make it worse, and I may be MIA for a day or longer. I hate when this happens when I’m not at home, I feel like a burden and it’s so much harder to deal with. I’m PRAYING this doesn’t happen – you have no idea.)
- “What if my Mum ends up spending too much/we don’t have the money/this holiday will leave us even more broke?” (this is a biggie. A recent worry I’ve only become aware of recently, but I’ve started writing a post about that and I might post it, so I won’t explain it now. But to sum it up, we’re pretty broke and London is expensive. We’re saving LOADS staying at a family friend’s, but we’ll be going out, eating out….I don’t want my Mum to stress and I don’t want her feel any pressure to spend what we don’t have. I’m going to try and help her however I can, maybe just order a starter if the place we’re eating at is too expensive, or share some food with her….anything.)
So, that’s what I’m worrying about. Some will be squashed on the day, some will probably remain with me for some or even all of the holiday. The plan for today is to relax, finish packing, get everything charged and in order, and make myself as happy and chilled as possible for tomorrow.
It’ll be okay.
I need to bring my excitement out again! Because after all, I am really excited. We’re going to London, the city where I began life on this Earth 🙂
We did have a rough time in London, life only got easier when we moved to Birmingham (more on this in that post I may or may not post) but there was some lovely memories there. Being there makes me happy, and gives me a relief from my actual life in Birmingham. Plus, we used to go every year but it’s been around three years since we’ve been, so this visit is LONG overdue! I’m buzzing to visit all our favourite places from when we used to live there, most of my best memories lie in there!
Oh, and I’ll be seeing our family friend and her son, after three years! She’s basically an auntie to me, we used to be at hers so often when we lived in London. She’s my Mum’s best friend, they’re amazing together and I love watching them interact. They’re like two sisters, constantly bickering about who’s paying at restaurants, silly things like who’s cooking dinner or “why did you clean up? You’re on holiday silly I was going to do that!” Ahh I love them.
This is what I’ve got to stick to today, thinking of the positives, thinking of the joy I felt when we spontaneously booked the train tickets two weeks ago. Note to self: YOU’RE ALLOWED TO BE EXCITED. YOU DON’T HAVE TO WORRY.
Man that felt good to get out.
It’s actually helped more than I thought. 🙂
I hope you enjoyed reading my ramblings ‘about the day before’ panic. Hopefully I’m not too much of a mess tomorrow morning! But even if I am, hopefully it won’t top that one time I threw up the morning of the day we we’re travelling to Hastings – simply because of nerves and anxiety. An hour later I was fine! Sitting on the train laughing with my Mum.
Have you been on holiday this summer yet? If so, where did you go? And if you haven’t been yet, where are you going?
And, the most important question, do you get anxious and stressed the day before or the day of travelling to go somewhere? If so, how do you handle it?
Thank you once again for reading, I’ll see you when I see you 🙂
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